She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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