i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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