do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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