In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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