K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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