STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
