You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Im part way to drunk.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
