Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
