I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
