he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
