New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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