Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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