Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
