He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
