problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
love makes seman taste better
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
