Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
