For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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