3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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