i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
