that's an acceptable place to lick
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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