the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
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If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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