Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
