when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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