It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize