I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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