I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
