I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
