Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
