So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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