thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.