How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.