maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want