So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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