absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize