Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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