Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
