dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
