Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
