Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
And then he peed in my hair
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