38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
