sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
