I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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