SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
