There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
