Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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