You're my little dorito
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How's work?
Spinning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
