summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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