have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
