my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
