I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
