I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
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I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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