I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
