quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You made out with two different species that night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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