Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
