To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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