You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
