Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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