STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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