3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
did i walk over a car last night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
