Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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