He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
