At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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